


Letting Go

by sseundalkhom



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, Post-Break Up, Reconciliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:07:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21791983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sseundalkhom/pseuds/sseundalkhom
Summary: one of the night, they talk through the phone and beg for each other
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Kudos: 17





	Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> it's just awkward  
> seriously i dont know how many wrong mistakes i have done in this writing so please forgive me for my stupidity and do press your kudos if you really like it and want for the better ending in the another lifetime of coupzi/woocoup

They say, give someone a second chance.

But when the case comes to them abruptly, they can't stick on their own words. 

And he only chuckles at their endless grumblings. Well, said is easier than done -- that's all what they usually say. Practising of what they have said is much harder, but they forget it easily, not like him. 

Jihoon still does remember him, no matter what happens in his life; no matter how much he denies his existence. He still does remember him. The worst part, he still loves him despite the breakup they had years ago. And the love is getting bigger uncontrollably. He does not know why it is being like now since he started adapting his new life -- the world without his one -- Jihoon can not find a replacement for his empty space by his side. It is a tragic love he never wishes for; he ended their relationship, he was just unable to forgive the mistake, but also still can't move on from the person he used to love more than he loves himself. 

**He just can't.**

He just can't see anyone else but him. 

The longing love that he sent away back then, to live without Jihoon in his world. The world that much perfect for the one to love someone better than Jihoon. That's what Jihoon thinks so.

Somehow he can't imagine how daring he was, to cut off the ribbon he adored a lot. To shove away the man he can't find elsewhere. Just for his egoistic mind to not tolerate someone's mistake. 

The call is ringing and it stops Jihoon from his deep thoughts. He glances at the screen, clearly read it aloud. He smiles endearingly. 

"Yes?"

_ "Is it Jihoon, right?" _

He holds his heart, trying to control his excitement but soon later he realises. There is no reason to be excited about. Then, he controls his voice. 

"Yes, it's me."

_ "I miss you." _

At this second, he squints his eyes, feeling unreal as he has heard three dangerous words. His feet do feel flying, walking on the clouds and suddenly it scares him to death. 

He does not want to believe his ears. 

_ "Jihoon, are you still there?" _

He hums unconsciously, leaning down on his chair -- he rubbed his forehead. He is tired of thinking already. 

_ "Are you okay?" _

"Yeah, I'm okay." No, he lies. He does not feel good as he replays those words inside his head. 

"Why calling?"

Jihoon does not expect this question slipping out of his lips. He sighed. 

_ "I can't?" _

"...um, well, I guess you have nothing to do with me -- so, why to call me?"

He holds his phone tight. His brain stops at this moment, leaving the other male through the call in the speechless state. Jihoon regrets it, he has just hurt someone he cares. 

Again, another sigh escapes. 

_ "Jihoon," _ the caller shouts out his name softly, demanding but it is enough to melt the latter's strength. 

"Yes, I'm listening, Seungcheol."

A smile he tries hard to not floating in the air, just escapes as he calls one name. It's been a long time. Really a long time for him to hear himself calling the name.

_ "I really miss you, do you believe it?"  _

"No," Jihoon doesn't give a second to think about the answer. 

_ "So do I," _ he paused, waiting for Jihoon's response,  _ "I think I'll be fine, perhaps not fine for a couple of days or months after you left." _

"But you do look so fine."

_ "I don't know, I try to be enjoying everything, laughing with friends and family, go to work, making some progression, have some holiday--" _

"And it does look good, you can continue on living like that."

_ "Without you? I don't think so." _

Jihoon does not want to look pathetic but if only he could do, he may be honest at himself, loving him and being greedy for one that he needs Seungcheol in his life. However, he can't do it. 

"You can."

He just lied. Jihoon has lied. 

"You have to endure that kind of living you have right now."

_ "...is it because of what happened in the past?" _

"No, just...I know we can't be together."

_ "Why?" _

"We don't match," he blurts out bitterly. Jihoon knows it is a big lie. He continues on saying lie towards the caller. And he denies everything, the world he wishes for. 

"I just need the breakup. We deserve to live apart."

_ "We're not destined to be apart, Jihoon." _

He shuts his eyes. Feeling so down at the caller's answer, he does not know why he feels so. 

"Seungcheol...please," he breaks down. He gives up a second later he realises, it is hard for them. 

The latter sighes,  _ "I don't know whether you still care for me or not--I just want you to come back before it's too late..." _

Jihoon does not answer. He is waiting for the worst part. 

_ "....before it's too late for us." _

"You know I will always love you," he confesses. He opens his bottle, telling it, and giving up. He knows no one can be blamed because of his stupidity-- everything happened in a flash and right now he can not remember why they broke up in the first place. Back then he should have withstood against all the endless fighting, he should have stayed and not drawing a void beside him, beside Seungcheol as well. He should not love the breakup. 

"...even in another life, another universe, I will love you," he prays silently. 

_ "Jihoon..." _

"I want you to be happy without me in this lifetime. If us-- if there is a chance for us in another lifetime, in another universe, in another situation--if only we are meant to be...."

He gulps down the tears that willing to come out from his eyes. It's too hard for him to bear it alone. 

"...will you love me?"

He is waiting. 

_ One second _

_ Two seconds _

The clock is ticking and it kills him slowly. He should have not expected more. He almost hangs up the call if only he doesn't hear groans like after crying. He realises it's not just him who feels it's all hard to bear. 

_ Tuk _

_ Tuk _

_ Tuk _

Slowly, without his consent, his tears fall down. He let it escaped this time. His trust crumbles down. 

"...it's okay."

_ "I will love you, Jihoon-ah. In another life, I will love you, much more than in this life." _

_ No _ \--he put a word to himself, for not believing it, for not putting his trust to the latter's promise.

_ "As I promise to find you again in another universe," _ Seungcheol adds as if he reads Jihoon's mind right now. 

"Seungcheol..."

Any words do not come from his lips after calling out his name, it's stuck on the edge of his tongue. He just needs to make him stay, but he is unable to do that. One word, it'll change the future. 

Instead of  _ 'stay' _ , Jihoon says another word. 

"Goodbye," he tells. He hangs up the phone in a split second, blocking the number and crying out his heart. 

**_11.22 pm_ **

**_Current weather: snowing_ **

Jihoon looks through the window, snow starts piling up on the street. It is white and cold. And that night he realises, holding onto his memories with the man he called Seungcheol is just like the snow. So white, cold, and it's pure. It will melt by the season, but it will be missed soon after. Though the countless fights they had back then, the love seemed like melting down, in the end -- it will be missed. Being together is something he will long for. 

He doesn't mind to bid farewell for his half in the winter. As the love between the former was blooming in the winter, the end of their story finishes on the winter. 

He smiles bitterly at the sight of snow, he prayed for meeting the latter again in another universe. He wishes for the better ending for themselves. 

He prays for another chance and it should be bonding with the man named Choi Seungcheol. 

**-the end-**


End file.
